Friday, March 28, 2008

Letters

Dear Comcast,

I am not a customer of yours, and yet you are messing with me. Why? You bought out Insight; congratulations. However, now 80% of my email contacts are changing their addresses. I receive an estimated 4.7 emails every day from people changing their address. It's most definitely NOT comcastic.

Signed,
My More-Full-than-Normal Inbox


Dear Reeses,

You know how much I love the peanut butter and chocolate combination. Every fall I am excited when I see the peanut butter pumpkins appear in my local Walgreens aisles. The yummy treats have a higher peanut butter to chocolate ratio than your average cup and are basically heavenly. (Scientific analysis is available here.) In the months that follow I can find Reese's trees, Reese's hearts, and Reese's eggs. However, now that all of the candy holidays have passed, I am left with a Reese's shaped hole in my life. It's no wonder the church calendar calls this "ordinary time." I'm left wandering the Walgreens aisles alone and wanting to petition for Reese's flowers, Reese's flags...SOMETHING for the months of May through August. My waist-line thanks you for the break, but my heart will always be true to you.

See You in September,
Weight Watcher in Withdrawl

1 comment:

Duchess said...

You. Are hilarious. Thank you for the fun read :P